We’re asking questions to illuminate, “What does success looks like, for me?” We’ve already asked, “Can you enjoy individual success in your career, if your employer is failing?
The next question we tackle takes us to the heart of a daily struggle for many people at work: “Can I enjoy professional success in my job and personal success in my life, at the same time? According to a recent survey by Accenture, most people believe you can, ‘’have it all”. We’ll see.
Professional success means many things, but almost always includes experiencing the joy of a job well done. Part of that joy comes from professional recognition and respect. Your manager appreciates your results and the impact you have. Your peers acknowledge that you’re a leading contributor on the team. The personal satisfaction and confidence that come from knowing you can meet and overcome a wide range of challenges is also gratifying.
While a job well done has its own rewards, let’s be honest; they’re not enough. Most successful people are motivated by money and the multiple satisfactions it buys. Big houses and nice cars are a start. The list of accoutrements is virtually endless. Not only can they enhance the quality of life, they’re additional advertisements of your success.
Successful people are also driven by upwardly mobile career progression. Bigger titles often mean more impact as more staff now report to you. Not only can you have more influence, you can help your staff learn and grow, so they can achieve their success as well.
So let’s stop and recap what professional success looks like. 1) Experiencing the joy of a job well done. 2) Earning enough money to make (some of) your dreams come true. 3) Being recognized as a competent, confident professional who is on top of his/her game. 4) Helping others develop so they can achieve their own success. What’s not to like in this picture?
Unfortunately, we can’t stop, because there’s more to the picture than meets the eye. Professional success inevitably affects your personal life (and vice versa). A closer look at personal success reveals how and where that’s most likely to be experienced.
Personal success usually means enjoying valued activities that bring real meaning to our lives. They recharge our batteries, replenish our soul and affirm our true purpose in creation. Consider what matters most in your life. Your spouse, your children, your friends and family, pursuing your faith, travelling, learning, community involvement are but a few. What would your life be like without these?
Personal success also means having the freedom to make plans and the availability to be present for them. Enjoying the rich fabric of valued personal relationships renews us. It replenishes our emotional reservoirs and helps to maintain, or restore a healthy perspective. These relationships define and refine our identity. They help us see where our piece fits into the master puzzle. When we lose sight of our identity outside of work, we risk becoming defined by our job title.
So what’s the answer? It depends on the question. The original question was, “Can I enjoy professional success in my job and personal success in my life at the same time? The simple answer is, ‘yes’, depending on your definition of each. But the question isn’t simple. Further, the same question may well have different answers for different people in different situations.
A good working definition of success is, getting what you want and wanting what you get. So if you’re consistently cutting your personal life short, or unable to control your calendar, then you’re not getting what you want. If that’s you, regardless of the professional success you may be enjoying, it’s coming at the expense of success in your personal life. Recognizing things are out of balance is the first step. Doing something about it is the next.
If the question is, “Can I have it all?” that answer is probably, ‘no’, in spite of what the majority of people in the Accenture survey conveyed. We’re all given 24 hours every day. Every hour spent working (regardless of the location) is an hour not available to our family, our friends or ourself.
Jack Welch has suggested there is no such thing as work-life balance. Instead, he suggests there are ‘work-life’ choices. We decide where to invest our time and talents, then live with the results. To the degree that success is about tradeoffs, I tend to agree. Every time you say ‘yes’ to something, you’re saying ‘no’ to something else, even if you don’t know what that is at the time. To a large degree, there is no balance between ‘yes’ and ‘no’; it’s one or the other.
Another challenge to answering this question assumes that our professional lives are separate from our personal lives. In fact, historic boundaries have all but disintegrated, with technology playing a key role. Many professionals simply aren’t able to ‘get away’ from work because it’s with them everywhere they go. They’re accessible virtually anywhere, any time. So the boundaries between ‘working hours’ and ‘personal time’ have obscured. On-site day care, on-site medical programs, concierge services all speak to our personal lives coming into the work setting. Further, many professionals work remotely from home ‘after hours’ in what used to be ‘personal or family time’. So work and life get done throughout the day and night, Monday-Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Thus the term, ‘24/7’. But it’s not just a term for some people, it’s reality.
So should this trend be regarded as a ‘blending’ of different aspects of our lives, or ‘infringement’ of one by the other? Both.
As an executive recruiter, I live in the world of work. Some professionals I interview are either rapidly approaching burn out, or arrived some time ago. Their lives are out of balance because ‘24/7’ has taken a toll. They don’t have the time or energy to enjoy life because too much of their time and energy have been dedicated to work. They’re often required to cancel personal plans because work is out of control. The math isn’t complicated. The more time spent on work-related activities, the less time available for personal activities. Regardless of how this issue gets framed, I see people on a regular basis who are unhappy because their jobs have taken over their lives.
Yet, other people I interview have developed remarkable abilities to sustain high levels of performance over prolonged periods of time with minimal apparent disruption to other areas in their lives. These high performers intrigue me for their ability to consistently exceed expectations at work, yet lead full, productive lives outside of work. As I dig deeper into their stories, I hope to write more on their formulas for success. But there’s no doubt the world of 24/7 is pushing the limits of human capacity. For many professionals, distinctions between work and life have become blurry. Work has become a big part of life and life is a big part of work.
What’s the bottom line?
- Many people think they know what success means, until they start to succeed.
- Success always has a price. How much are you willing to pay?
- Success is about tradeoffs. What are you willing to give up in your personal life to achieve professional success? What are you willing to give up professionally to achieve personal success?
- Success requires choices. In subsequent posts, we’ll discuss the decision-making process behind these choices, how we make them, or not, and the unfortunate consequences when we’re not intentional about making them.
- The boundaries that previously separated professional and personal lives are dissolving. The upside of that is often experienced as flexibility. The downside is burnout. While it’s true that some aspects of each complement the other, it’s also true that other aspects are not compatible. Life at work and life outside of work are simply not flip sides of the same coin.
The topic is critically important and the issue is complex. Good information and useful guidance are scarce, yet critical to your success. They won’t come from a degree. But a good mentor or manager can help. Any comments/insights that help to clarify are welcome. By subscribing, you’ll receive updates on other topics of interest. Driesenassociates.com
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